David Letterman Show

The Slowest Hour In Television

Why is David Letterman still on television? It can’t be because anyone still thinks he’s funny. Oh! I know, we hear laughter from the audience, but they’ve been given free tickets that get them off the streets of New York. Hell, you’d laugh too, to get out of that crummy Manhattan weather.

His latest humorless rant was against, surprise, surprise, Sarah Palin. The snarky late night host used yet another occasion to insult the Alaskan Governor and her family. Because she had the temerity to take her fourteen year old daughter Willow, to a Yankees baseball game the perverted dimwit said this. “During the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.” The response was swift coming from the rights newest take no prisoners hero John Ziegler. Here’s his reaction to the smug and bare brained Contessa…Brewer. youtube

Since then the liberal talking heads have been trying to defend the gap toothed numbskull with their group speak talking point. It goes like this: “Well! If she’s going to parade her kids in public,” yada, yada, yada. Hey dopes!!! She’s not parading her kids in public. They operate as a family, she’s a responsible mother. Did we not see Obama’s kids often during the campaign, and still do? Has anyone on the right accused them of “parading their kids?” No, it’s just the usual double standard by the hypocritical left.

And what is all this controversy about whether Sarah should be allowed to respond to Letterman‘s stupid comments. I never remember all this hand ringing by the state owned liberal media when Harry Truman defended his daughter Margaret. When a reviewer criticized his daughter for what he perceived as her lack of singing talent, old "Give Em Hell Harry," responded thus.

“I have just read your lousy review,” it said in part, adding: “Some day I hope to meet you. When that happens you'll need a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes, and perhaps a supporter below!”

When President Truman’s aides said he would hurt his image with this response, he bet them that 80% of the citizenry would be behind him. After a few days he took them to the mailroom and showed them that over 81% of responses were favorable to him.

What!! And the “Drive By’s” are getting apoplectic about how Sarah defended her family, saying this will only hurt her. What a bunch of BS. Most rational people recognize her courage in not being intimidated by the Obama, sycophantic, slobbering, press.

The liberal Facist’s are scared to death of this woman. You see she has these radical beliefs, such as not murdering babies, being fiscally responsible, telling the truth (that’s a really bad one), defending the 1st and 2nd amendments, honoring the military, loving her family and country, ya know, crazy things like that.

Yet next to her, the power mad Hillary, is treated by the liberal media as some kind of renaissance figure. Here is a woman who carries untold baggage, too numerous to mention here, but to cite a few:

1. Her shaky dealings in the Whitewater fiasco.

2. Questionable dealings in the cattle futures.

3. Her incompetence in running the Health Care Reform debacle.

4. Lying about her involvement with Richard Livingstone.

5. Lying about her involvement in Travelgate.

6. Lying about being named after Sir Edmund Hillary.

7. Lying about facing sniper fire upon landing in Bosnia.

I can absolutely guarantee you that if Sarah Palin were a Liberal generating the same kind of political popularity, the stories would be immensely different. Can you see the newspaper headlines? “Beautiful V.P. Candidate Mesmerizes Crowd With Stunning Oratory.” “Sarah Palin-Beauty With Brains, Electrifies Crowd With Call For End To War.” “One Gets Feeling Of Beatific Enlightenment In V.P. Candidates Presence.” “Katie Couric Fails To Shake Beautiful V.P. Candidate With Reading Question.”

Getting back to the source of this article, the demented Letterman, I thought it would be fun to turn the tables on this poor ignorant excuse for a human being.

Here are my Top Ten Letterman observations:

10. Not as funny, good looking or intelligent as Forrest Gump.

9. Doesn’t know the difference between fourteen year olds and eighteen year olds.

8. Has been picked to play The Evil Perv “Gap Tooth,” in the next Batman movie.

7. Favorite guest was Pee Wee Herman, his intellectual equal.

6. Knows how it feels to be Pee Wee Herman.

5. Fiercely protective of his private life, but why, who cares?

4. Has overstayed career by at least fifteen years.

3. Named Johnny Carson one of his all time idols, but as someone suggested, “Dave, you ain’t no Johnny Carson.”

2. Makes nerds look cool.

And the Letterman observation # 1.

Secretly contributes to SarahPAC.

In the final analysis Dave, since I now believe you’re eligible for Social Security, why not think of retiring, taking your benefit and fading off into the sunset. And while you’re at it, take your Top Ten and stupid, Stupid Pet Tricks with you.